When I was 18 I decided it was time, I was ready to lose my virginity, but I knew the on again off agin friend with benefits I’d been messing around with was not the one. I already liked him too much and if he was my first I’d be stuck, I’d never be able to walk away. He already had too many firsts. First time I was naked with a man, first dick I ever saw, touched, sucked; first person to touch, see or lick my pussy. Hell he was even with me the first time I got high. I was not giving him my virginity.
I’d been sexually active for a couple years, I just didn’t cross that line. I dated some sweet boys who never got far, but that fwb, I just couldn’t resist him. Maybe it’s because most of those other boys chased me and this one held me at arms length or maybe it’s because I knew that if I got too close to him I’d be sunk.
See, my dad was an avid believer that we, my brother and i, were too young to get into serious relationships that we should date a lot of people, spend time with friends and focus on having fun. Long term or serious relationships were strongly discouraged.
So I was 18, had never been in a serious relationship and was ready to join the club, give up my card. So, we went on vacation that summer and I met a boy, he and a few of his friends came each of the first three days to see me on the beach. Invited my brother and I to come ride jet skis at their place on the bay, then to a nice dinner, and our last night they were going to throw a party and we were invited. He was as good of a choice as any, he was close enough to my age and incredibly sexy and absolutely what I knew my type to be. So, It happened. It was a great time and a good memory. A sweet guy in a beautiful place and it was before cell phones and social media so that was it, we never saw or spoke to one another again.
Is it strange that I’ve never once regretted it? Because I don’t, I never have and I still to this day believe it was the right decision for me.